There is an internal battle waging inside of me daily as the voices from the "responsible adults" in my life spit sarcastic comments about finances, loans, responsibility, jobs, careers, and duty at the gypsy trying to enjoy a few more weeks of vacation, freedom, culture, relationships, being a kid, and enjoying the moment. One moment I am happy and excited about what I'm about to do in two minutes, five minutes, tomorrow. The next minute I am feeling panicked by the necessity to fill my bank account, clock hours, and be seen as responsible to my family and friends. Now, I am pressured to return home, talk to the people who want to hire me, start working, saving, planning, making something of myself. The freedom of my last weeks tainted by the tension between the warring factions of my brain.
However, the truth is that I love to feel productive. If only I had a way to produce on vacation. To devote a few hours to doing something another person found worth money. :) That would be the life. And I truly believe that the skills I have, whether they be washing the floor or lab tests or typing or translating, are worth something, and I would be happy to put them to someone's use. As most people know, doing work is a sort of purpose. On this quest (that I have been calling vacation), like studying in college, the work is solely for your personal purpose. If you do nothing but what you absolutely need to, you don't get much back either. But only you see the difference, because in cold realworld truth, nobody else really cares. So now my struggle is to get the most out of this travel, not to get complacent in vacation mode, and not to be stressed (about all the aforementioned things) in working mode.
In an effort to both get the most out of life and to give something to my hosts, I have requested to spend some time at the Fiat dealership, helping with whatever I can, talking to whoever will talk to me, enjoying a business with my host dad. Three birds with one stone. Hopefully I can hit them all.
